The perils and pitfalls of Agency Work

Tempting Invitations

Many old adages have a basis in truth and observation, so taking the line A change is good as a rest, I registered with a coach driving agency for rest day work as an alternative to working overtime at Bristol Airport. When they called me and said that Jeffs Coaches in Northampton needed extra drivers for 5 days over the Silverstone Grand Prix weekend - train fares, hotel, etc. all paid It seemed too good to be true! but to quote another saying, Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Travel in Hope

The three train journey from Nailsea via Bristol and Birmingham to Northampton was almost drama free. Train number two was late, but I didn’t miss my connection because the final one was also late. Then the time was made up and I arrived at Northampton station exactly on time. Next stop my accommodation booked by the caterers co-ordinating this particular Silverstone contract. University College Northampton described truthfully in its own literature as student residences not of Hotel standard. A basic room with a narrow single bed, a desk and chair plus a small clothes storage unit. No TV Oh well never mind. At least the en-suit bathroom was at the bottom end of Hotel standard. Facilities available in the main block were time tabled to suit young student needs with no early morning or late evening restaurant and strictly no bar!

& So to Work

When I reported to the Traffic Office to start work, my first job was to gather up the other Agency drivers who had all arrived at the yard independently and take them to University College Northampton to check into their student residences. My transport of delight for this exercise the Citroen Xsara Picasso that the Transport Manager had used to collect me from the station.

Consolation Prize

Back in the Traffic Office, some double deckers usually used on schools contracts needed to be taken over to Silverstone and parked where the caterers wanted them. An office staff member driving a Caetano Optimo midi coach led the way as Agency drivers piloted our unfamiliar charges through country lanes, entering the circuit via a maze of cones laid out for cars in rows far too narrow for buses and round a service road parallel to the track. The final obstacle was one of the famous bridges glimpsed as the race cars flash under them. In reality a narrow steel roadway rising at a seemingly impossible angle and entered on the twist to pause helpless high in the air before descending at a similar contortion with adverse camber exit. As the rain started to fall we parked our buses reversed into line and dashed for the Optimo, no time for photos.

My short straw for the event was DBV137Y, an “all Leyland” Olympian ONLXB/1R with Eastern Coach Works H45/32F body new to Ribble as their 2137 in May 1983. The control panel layout was lifted straight from the Leyland National II, so it wasn’t difficult to just jump in and drive, the only problem being the non-functioning Tacho making it impossible to say how cautiously I negotiated the lanes. The second bus is VJO204X another “all Leyland” Olympian ONLXB/1R with Eastern Coach Works body, this time originally of H47/28D specification and new to City of Oxford in June 1982 as number 204. Both photos were taken as I tidied up in Jeffs yard on Friday 16th July 2004.

Reality Bites

When I returned to the yard - Silverstone was too good to be true, the plan changed subtly. What Jeffs needed was regular contracts covered so their drivers were free for Silverstone work, and the job became 4 days touring in Central London with groups of American students. Just one more thing - the coach isn’t available until 9 o’clock tomorrow morning at Milton Keynes Coachways Station, so take the Citroen Xsara tonight, take anybody that wants to go out for a meal into town and swap the car for the coach in the morning.

My Carriage Awaits

After an uneventful, but breakfast free dash down the motorway I arrived at Milton Keynes Coachways Station at 08:45 with the coach turning up just moments later. So there it was, my charge for the next few days, 802AOJ, a Volvo B10M‑60 carrying a Jonckheere Deauville C53F body at first glance similar to the Scania K113CRB / Berkhof Excellence 1000 coaches I had been used to with Beeline Bracknell’s Greenline services. The likeness is hardly surprising since Berkhof and Jonckheere have been in partnership since 1989. The dashboard layout was pure Volvo family, similar to Plaxton bodied coaches and Volvo’s version of the Olympian encountered at Beeline. One final hiccough, being an agency driver I was expected to supply and keep my own tachograph discs. A quick begging trip to the coach on the next bay produced a stock and I was fully legal and off on my adventures.

Milton Keynes Coachways Station is literally in the fields at the top of M1 Junction 14 slip road. It’s just a case of exit the bay, a full circle of the roundabout, choose north or south and out onto the motorway. As I joined the traffic I noticed another coach about ½ a mile ahead and watched his movements to get used to motorway coach driving again. A little later he turned off down the M10 and I was alone with my mission. It is also worth noting that UK coaches have a speed limiter restricting them to 100kph, however holding the limiter with the accelerator peddle pressed hard down produces a strange motion sickness inducing ride so the driver needs to use his skill to keep the speed correct without the limiter cutting in.

802AOJ for Statistophiles

• Volvo B10M-60 Chassis N^o. 31876
• Jonckheere Body N^o. 23542

• New to Park of Hamilton as M627FNS 4/1995
• Acquired by City of Oxford 31/10/1997
• Acquired by Jeffs Coaches 17/04/2002. First used on schools duties on Friday 19/4/02 in full X90 lettering.
• With the arrival of new coaches at The Oxford Bus Company (OBC) M627-30 FNS were sold to Jeffs , to help relpace what was lost in a fire in the early hours of Sunday January 13^th 2002 at Helmdon. The eight coaches which were destroyed by the fire were two new Ivecos, three Volvos, one Leyland and two Bedfords.
• M627FNS re-registered to 827AOJ once repaint & internal work including re-fitting of courier seat and radio plus generally tidying up the cab area complete.
• Registration 802AOJ was previously carried by Volvo/Jonckheere coach N802NHS
• N802NHS regained its original plates to be acquired by Heyfordian February 2002

Using my favourite 25-50 zoom lens at the wide angle end of its range in the cramped environment of the Coach Park at St. Paul’s Cathedral makes the coach look extra long in an attempt to fit into the frame. Equally the bridge parapet at Southwark limits opportunities to move right and take a true ¾ shot

The Business in Hand

A Shift of the Goal Posts

The master plan called for a Company driver to meet me while I was waiting at the Tower of London on my second tour’s Day Two, but life is never simple. On Sunday night, after loading and unloading a total of nearly 100 suitcases between the two groups, I was ready for a pint as part of my preparations for next day. In the Hotel bar I encountered one of my fellow Agency drivers following a similar itinerary to me, but his groups were a day behind mine. The poor chap was in a terrible state, although he was a veteran of tour work in the West Country, his previous London experience was limited to National Express runs along the A4, straight into Victoria Coach Station so finding and visiting London tourist attractions was short circuiting his brain!

Although I insisted on sleeping on it and nothing was guaranteed we both knew I was going to stay on and help out. So on Monday morning phone calls were made, deals were struck and the Company driver who should have met me would take over my colleague’s group at the Hotel that evening while I continued round the itinerary loop until Friday.

What the Itinerary Can Not Tell

No matter how carefully written even by somebody who can actually do the job the generic timings of the itinery hide a minefield of details.

• Parking charges are relaxed on Saturday afternoon and all day Sunday leading to a general increase in sight seeing traffic.
• Saturday is the main departure day for coaches to Poland bringing chaos to Colonades Bus Station behind Victoria Railway Station and eating up coach parking in the whole South West One area of London.
• On Saturday July 10th London runners - including Prince William! turned out with their red socks to raise money for charity. They gathered at Temple to run along the Victoria Embankment and end up in Trafalgar Square closing many roads for most of the day.
• The Coach Park at the Tower of London is in the basement of an office block development and was included in the plans at the insistence of the Corporation of London. As a result the layout may be theoretically adequate but I have yet to meet a coach driver who says it is nothing short of a practical nightmare. The Corporations rules state At busy times the 12 bays against the north wall of the coach park are reserved for setting down & picking up only. 15 minutes free time is allowed for this. After setting down passengers, coaches should leave and return at a time prearranged with the passengers for picking up - a further 15 minutes free time is allowed. The four bays on the south side of the coach park are used for longer stays. When they are occupied, all other coaches must leave once setting down or picking up is finished. If this were adhered to then, substituting the predicament of where to park for the duration, it would be possible to swing round a line that gets the coach square into the exit barriers and out past the supporting pillars, however in practice every bay may be used for longer stays and, especially German tri-axle, coaches park in the bays nearest the exit pushing exiting vehicles off line to the right. In the confined space getting back on line involves a lot of shunting and a compromise path demanding touching mirrors on posts and may need a reverse manoeuvre back through the exit barrier which promptly shuts in front of the coach.
• Tower Bridge is, perhaps, the most famous drawbridge type bridge in the world and the whole process of opening the bascules, allowing a ship to pass, then bringing them down again for the resumption of road traffic takes only five minutes. However should the Queen of England be riding along the river then the whole bridge is quarantined including the central span’s two high-level foot ways complete with the Tower Bridge Exhibition causing long delays to parties of tourists.
• Restaurant bookings, Changing the Guard, etc have fixed times - everything else is reliant on the skill and whim of the Blue Badge Guide. Timings, even venues can be changed to accommodate for example traffic delays or inclement weather. While sounding spontaneous and personal the Guide’s commentary is a well rehearsed script, the order may vary but all the same facts and jokes will be in there at the appropriate times
• Just when you start to get into a routine touring with the same Guide each time a new person hops on at Westminster Bridge who doesn’t do all this walking thing and wants view Knightsbridge, High Street Kensington, South Kensington Museums and the Albert Hall from the comfort of the coach and use little back street short cuts that I’m sure don’t allow coaches because they don’t fit. But everything is OK in the end, coach and scenery make it through the day unscathed
• All part of life’s rich tapestry!

The Adventure Draws to a Close

After phoning National Rail Enquiries I worked out that I could stay with my fourth and final group until I dropped them in Covent Garden then dash back to Helmdon to hand everything into the Traffic Office and catch the last train that would let me complete the journey back to Bristol without an overnight wait enroute. All very well in theory. Lost “Student Delegates” at the Tower resulted in nearly half an hour delay to our departure, not to mention an extra £10 parking fee. Friday evening traffic getting out of London was every bit as bad as I had forgotten being involved with 15 years earlier. Just to put the icing on the cake. Two sets of mixed blue and orange fairy lights between Junction 8 and Junction 10 on the M40 wiped out any hope of reaching Northampton in time. A carefully worded phone call to Jeffs subtly pointing out that I was actually 5 days late returning from my original assignment after helping out got me booked into the local Travelodge in return for leaving the coach in the yard clean, tidy and fuelled ready for service before I finished for the night. I could borrow a Caetano Optimo to get to the Hotel and back.

Saturday dawned bright and clear. After a large and leisurely Full English I wandered into Jeffs Traffic Office to complete the paperwork and get a lift to Northampton Station from a driver on his way to take over a party of Japanese tourists somewhere in Hertfordshire on a watercolour painting holiday. So the adventure ended where it had begun with a ride in the Citroen Xsara Picasso.

© Martin G. Layton 2004

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